this is a beautiful morning. a great day to start this little project. lets see how it goes. i'm sure i could use this, not so sure anyone else can. we'll see..
i'm meli. there was a dance party at my house last night that included lots of cheap wine, good music, and people i've come to really feel comfortable and happy around. comfortable enough to dance around like a drunken spaz with. they are so full of positive energy and willingness to see where the moments take us. in our ecstatic bopping about we danced a 80sglamrockhokeypokey and i got to slow dance with a woman whose soul seems to sit at the bank of a deep spring, her reflection looking up at the world, smiling. she's beautiful and her voice and presence soothes me. we flirt sometimes, but i don't know what to do with it. it doesn't seem right. maybe its some sort of untouchablemadonnapedastal thing. stupid. mostly i would just like to hold her hand and cuddle.
ok, this is beside the point. the party was fun, just want i needed. school gets me so wound up and theres never that release of just being with people you love and being silly.
we were up pretty late and too much cheap wine turned into sloppily and shamelessly hitting on mr. talldarkandhandsome, but unfortunetly, as sober meli is well aware, mr. talldarkandhandsome is also mr. shyguywhoiwouldeatalive. i'm supposed to stay away from those. i forget sometimes. thankfully he abruptly left, hopefully not feeling weird or creeped out. chrits i'm such a slob.
old friends came through. its always such a nice surprise when they come in and i remember how long we've been partying with each other. we only see each other so often, but its always comfortable. we knew each other through all the awkward years. (and through all that and even through now they still love me. go figure?)
this morning i woke up just a little on the wrenched side, somehow justified starting my morning with a bowl knowing how much i need to do (and yet i'm also starting this here. so it goes). a bowl led to laying in bed with sudoku led to music... then to b.o.b., every grrl's dearest friend, the battery operated boyfriend. ol' b.o.b. and i haven't seen much of each other recently, in hindsigh perhaps a mistake on my part. but this moring, b.o.b. and i enjoyed a morning together like we haven't had in quite sometime.
i put on centipede e'est, a touring band i once encountered working at the organic megamart. they came through my checkout line the night after their show. some friends of mine came through earlier and mentioned what a great show they had put on, a show that i had flaked on for some useless reason or another. i mentioned how great i heard the show was, lamented missing it, and after ringing up their lunch they got a cd for me from their van. it was nice.
and their cd is amazing. post-punk i think. i don't really know what that means. but whatever in my head post-punk is, thats what it is. and aparently it's fabulous accompanyment to a good bit of jilling off. i'm tempted to write them and thank them for the amazing orgasms they gave me this morning. i haven't writhed around the bed like that in quite sometime. perhaps even revived something that has been missing, something that has been making nights in bed alone (accept of course with the her highness, my kitty) a little lonlier then i like. but who needs to negotiate space in my little cave i sleep in when i can cum my brains out with b.o.b.? it never ceases to amaze me the new tricks b.o.b.'ll pick up now and then.
i really should get to work finishing my paper. its so close to finished and i really think i've done well. i don't think i've ever finished a paper and actually wanted people to read it. maybe i'll post it here. nahh.
tonight, poetry. i probably shouldn't drink any wine.
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