red berry roobios.

we dated for two years or so. off and on. it was pretty clear: we were a disaster. fumbling through uncomfortable misunderstanding after the next, arguing over emails because we were both too nervous to just hang out and talk. i feel like i'm only barely getting to know you now. each of us have been through a relationship or two since we last held each other. you got yr heart broken, i just retreated further into my cave. us damaged goods, we're no good for each other.

but hangin out again, i told you it would happen. the feelings creep up. trust me, i've tried not to. you were pretty (mean) clear when you told me you didn't want to hear about that. what am i supposed to do? yr still the handsome guy who (mostly) gets it and mumbles weird jokes and makes silly little noises i like to pretend are just for me. yr still the same person who touched me so lovingly, even though you were scared. scared to be sexual. but it was more sensual than anything, something most guys don't know shit about. oh gosh yr hands! and yr still the ally and comrade i need, the guy who rides bikes to the protest with me. you really think making me dinner afterwards is gonna make me wanna be just friends?

i just want someone who will hang out at copy machines and actions with me, someone who will touch my hips or side when i need it. is that so much to ask?

i know i should stay away, but every time i resolve to stay away from you i pick up the phone and call you. its the pisces in me. and you invite me over for coffee and whatever cds you've burnt me.

no i will not stay the night. on yr couch. the couch we used to make love on when you were still couch surfin there. thats the last place i want to be alone with my thoughts.